I was the fool who said there is no God[i] but me – I am a god.[ii] But soon after I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.[iii]

I was ashamed because of the sacred oaks in which I had delighted; I was disgraced because of the gardens that I had chosen. I was like an oak with fading leaves, like a garden without water.[iv] I was living with an impending curse as it is written, the soul who sins shall die.[v] As the deer pants for streams of water, my soul panted for God.[vi]

My transgressions multiplied before Him, my sins testified against me, my transgressions became me, my iniquities were made known[vii] – it surfaced on my face and it could not be concealed anymore.[viii] Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.[ix]

I cried, You know my folly, O God;

My guilt is not hidden from you.[x]

To which He replied,

“Come now, let us reason together,” He said. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; Though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool”[xi]

I broke down, and continued;

Lord! My ears have heard … my eyes have seen you … I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.[xii] Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.[xiii] Look upon my afflictions and my distress and take away all my sins.[xiv]

Child, He replied as far as the east is from the west, I have removed your transgressions.[xv] I, even I, am he who blots your transgressions … also remembers your sins no more.[xvi]

[i] Psalm 14:1 [ii] Ezekiel 28:2 [iii] Jeremiah 31:19 [iv] Isaiah 1:29-30 [v] Ezekiel 18:20 [vi] Psalm 42:1 [vii] Isaiah 59:12 [viii] Isaiah 3:9 [ix] Psalm 51:5 [x] Psalm 69:5 [xi] Isaiah 1:18 [xii] Job 42:5-6 [xiii] Psalm 25:7 [xiv] Psalm 25:18 [xv] Psalm 103:12 [xvi] Isaiah 43:25

Matheus Yuhlung